Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way.
The cortex is the thinking part of the brain where logic and judgment resides. The limbic system (the emotional lower center of the brain), is considered to be more primitive than the cortex. Whenever a person is expressing or experiencing anger, they are not using the thinking part of the brain (cortex) but rather the limbic center of the brain (limbic system). Within that limbic system, we all have that small structure that is called the amygdala which is responsible for “fight or flight” reactions (survival instinct). The amygdala is in charge of filtering information coming in from the world around us.
When information triggers enough of an emotional charge, the amygdala can override the cortex, jumping rational thought processes and filtering automatically through the primitive part of the brain. This override restricts a person’s ability to judge, think clearly, or evaluate rationally. The amygdala will then take over and go into action without much regard for the consequences of these actions (amygdala hijacking). Once the amygdala has been hijacked, a whole process of hormones releasing enters into action causing the person to feel “out of control”, and say, or do things that he/she will later regret whenever the cortex (thinking and strategic part of the brain) re-engages. This cascade effect often leaves the person feeling bad and regretful for having said or done inappropriate things.
Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and relationships effected to help restore the safety and love that has been damaged.
For individuals who are seeking counselling for court ordered anger management, we strongly recommend confirmation of the courts guidelines to be satisfied. A report will be issued detailing the hours attended in counselling when the designated time for anger management counselling is completed. Any other court requirements needed must be discussed at the time of booking to ensure our services are an appropriate fit.
Whether you have experienced serious trauma or have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), you may be familiar with these feelings that can arise as the results of the traumatic event(s). For certain people, these symptoms can be very debilitating, take a hold of their persona and their conscious and subconscious mind, leaving them vulnerable to periods of frightening thoughts and high anxiety which can easily be triggered by specific events. There may even be episodes where a person may lose their sense of self; a feeling of numbing. We work to support our clients suffering from PTSD to reduce and minimize symptoms, understand their emotions and reactions, regain control over their thoughts and feelings, and heal the residual damage of such an intrusive disorder.
We all are the author of our own life-book. Consider our life as a big 30,000 pages long. Each page being one day of our life (some book will be thicker and some thinner). Every morning beginning by waking up, getting up and about; we will write on the blank page of our day. Often unconsciously, we decide a large percentage of what to write on that blank page, and what the day will look like out of habit. Relying on what happened in our life-book at page 2002 or page 3007 or page 7500. We may dream of doing something different (either relationship wise, career, dreams) and want to write new, exciting, different things on our blank page. Yet, somehow, stop and think “hold on, I attempted doing something similar to that in the past (at page 4690) and that didn’t go the way I was expecting at all!”. Or, “page 4735 was very painful and humiliating and I’m afraid it will happen again and I can’t risk that!” or even, “from page 2250 to page 6500, it is pretty obvious that not only I’m not that kind of person but this will never work for me and there is no way I can make that happen” and so on…
Some of us while writing will even make sure we keep a finger at a specific page just to refer to it again and again, reminding ourselves of how hard, scary, challenging, disappointing or hurtful it was. Why do we do that? Why can it be so hard to let go of passed pages that no longer matter or no longer serve us? Well, what is familiar can be comforting, even if it is painful or gives us struggles. As we hold on to past experiences we become wrapped up in them. We begin blocking other possibilities. If we hold on too tightly, we may even crush our strength, vision and joy. Once we free our self from the story of our past, let go of specific attachments, allow things to dissolve and dissipate, we may discover that we don't have to struggle and hurt unnecessarily anymore.
Through counselling and often hypnotherapy we work to assist clients to release and let go of resistances (for what we resist persists), be more able to allow “It is what it is”, accept themselves, and feel more relaxed. By grieving past loss, allowing present and future change, and pursuing new life challenges. Letting go of what does not serving us, and surrendering to what has happened, we become more connected to what we need in our life and relationship.
WE are the author of our book and decide what those blank pages will look like.